I started having sex when I was [none of your business] years old and as far back as I can remember women have been telling me something along the lines of: “I know you can get sex whenever you want.” If this is true, I don’t know who they expect me to acquire it from because it sure as hell isn’t from women.
It’s not that I’ve had a particularly difficult time having relations over the years, but rarely, if ever, can I randomly obtain it at a point of my choosing. Actually, in 98.9% of cases it has required some amount of usually considerable effort on my part. For reasons unknown to me women seem to think that men can get sex at the same, if not easier, rate from women that they can from men. This is by far the DUMBEST, MOST INACCURATE, COMPLETELY WRONGEST belief system in the entire universe, yet some women seem to genuinely believe this is true.
On the contrary, I believe it is a FACT that women can acquire sex 1 million gazillion billion percentage times easier than men. Furthermore, I will state here and now that I believe if a woman ever goes without sex – it is by choice. SOMETIMES men go without sex by choice but by and large it is by circumstance.
If I am incorrect, then I don’t understand why women won’t tell my male counterparts and I where all the easy women are located. Do they hang out at a certain club? Do they were a distinct perfume? Do they wear light colored shirts or have distinctive markings – like lower back tattoos for example? Please, give us a HINT! Something! Anything! Where are all these so called easy women?!?
During a discussion on this very topic one woman pointed out that “Given the right dude and circumstances, every woman can be easy.” That may very well be true but as another man accurately countered, “Given the right lotto numbers, I could be a millionaire.”
Maybe men and women’s definition of easy differs so let me explain what I consider easy. Easy consists of me saying: “Howdy, may I have sexual relations with you?” and her replying “Yes” or some other legally binding positive affirmation. If I have to do ANYTHING greater than that to get with said hypothetical woman of interest then she automatically defaults to the “not easy” category.
Additionally, if I have to purchase so much as a $.99 meal, drive more than 10 miles, or do anything that can be remotely confused for a date, even IF sexual relations are secured in less than 24hrs, I still consider that NOT easy. Easy, in my mind, equates to me doing absolutely no work what-so-ever other than asking for said relations – and I even consider the request in itself to be a borderline laborious activity, but as Machiavelli said, “The ends justify the means.”
As best as I can tell women seem to believe that every other woman – besides themselves of course – is nothing more than an easy sex craved harlot waiting to pounce on any man they have a vested interest in. This might explain why when you have a girlfriend/fiancé/wife or other she can feel insecure in the fact that you might go outside and (I guess) stumble upon a lamp with a magic genie inside who will clap his hands and present you with sex from any woman you should so happen to requests – because this is about the ONLY way its going to happen as easy as they seem to think it can in the place I live, you know, REAL LIFE.
That or women know about a majestic land where easy women literally grow on trees behind an almost impenetrable fortress that is guarded by a secret cult of not easy women armed to the teeth and trained in all the lethal martial arts whose sole mission in life is to ensure no man ever finds out about this treasure trove of truly easy sex. Though I have attempted for years to use The Secret to mentally wish this place into existence, I’m pretty sure it does not exist as I and my fellow man have been on an epic quest to unearth such a place by searching high, low, here, there and everywhere including in between.
It’s possible that since women don’t date women (well heterosexual women anyway), they don’t realize all the obstacles, impediments and wide-ranging complications men have to go through to have sexual relations with the average woman. Unless, of course, they know some magically enchanted string of words that like a binary code used to break into a bank’s database, when uttered aloud renders women instantly easy. These are the only logical explanations I can come up with for why women seem to think men can get sex whenever they want.
Honestly, when it comes to a woman sex is never really guaranteed – even when they guarantee it’s guaranteed. The only thing less predictable than figuring out when you’re going to get sex from a woman is figuring out if she’s going to change her mind. But that’s another topic for another blog. Instead, I’ll close with the following quote from @and1grad:
“I NEVER count on having sex until clothes have left the equation. THEN I consider it a strong chance.”
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