I was making my way around the Internet last week when I came across a blog called Aye Girl, Lemme Holla by The Analyst. It was so hilarious it inspired another video blog, which you will find at the bottom. I contacted the mastermind behind the post and he said I could repost his work here. You can visit his site by clicking here. His personal Twitter account is @TheGrinch85 and his blog is @RealGoesRight. Show him some love by promoting and viewing his work.
Enjoy!
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I don’t like talking to strange women in public that I don’t know. And by “strange” women I mean, women I find attractive that I would possibly like to make adult noises with.
*deep breath*
You see, contrary to the popular belief of anybody that knows me but doesn’t KNOW me, I have no game.
Well…that’s stretching it. I know how to talk to women. That I already know. Women I DON’T know…let’s just say I have trouble finding the right words to say.
Doesn’t have anything to do with self esteem or anything like that, I’m just, for lack of a better word…
Scared.
Fearful.
Terrified.
I be bitching up. It’s actually embarrassing. Well…not really embarrassing.
For a long time, most of the women I’ve had anything to do with came on to me first. It’s safer that way. She came to me, so that means she’s already feeling me. All I have to do is not ruin it by saying something wayward. Which usually comes after a level of comfort has been established…after 2-5 minutes or so.
I can’t even say I rightfully fear rejection, since I used to get rejected all the time.
But that’s the thing…
I USED to get rejected all the time. I’ve been on quite the winning streak the last 3 years or so. Feeling like the Lakers and s***.
In any event, walking up to an attractive woman and talking to her puts me at a considerable disadvantage. 1) She already has the upper hand since I approached her 2) the chances of her not feeling me is possible. It’s not high, but it’s still present and 3) I could be approaching a rude bitch and this can all go south VERY quickly.
It takes a monumental effort for me to talk to a woman, and when I say monumental, I mean it takes a MON-U-MEN-TAL effort.
Let me lay it out for you…Substitute the place and type of woman anywhere, this almost always plays out exactly the same way.
I’m at the grocery store (lounge, club, whatever), I see a cute chick. She’s dressed pretty decent. Smooth skin. Nice haircut. Full lips with lip gloss searching for some veggies in the frozen foods section. Most niggas will just go up to her and say “hi” right?
Not me. Allow me to walk you through what happens when I see cute women. This is me, talking to myself.
G Thought #1: Is she single? Where’s her man? She here dolo? Can she cook? I wonder if she goes to school here? Damn she cute. I should go holla. But I’ll just keep staring.
G Thought #2: No, for real. Go talk to her.
GT #1: Nah n****. Chill out.
GT# 2: For real. Go talk to her. f*** it man. What’s the worst that can happen? She can say no. Why would she say no? You that n**** b.
GT #1: I know I’m that n****, but she grocery shopping my n****. Would you want a 6 foot tall woman randomly walking up on you while you shopping for veggies n****?
GT #2: I’d be happy if a cute midget walked up on me while I was shopping for chainsaws. The f*** difference does it make? Stop being a bitch.
GT #1: Who you calling a bitch?
GT #2: You. Queen Latfiah U-N-I-T-Y face a** n****.
GT #1: Aight. I’m going.
GT #2: Aye man, don’t f*** this up.
So after all of that happens in about 10 seconds of thought time, I start walking over there…with sweaty palms and an increased heart rate. She looks up and she sees me walking toward her. Hopefully she looks like this ^_^ instead of this ( -_-).
Me: Hi.
Her: Hi.
*Awkward moment*
GT #2: Aww man. This n**** already fucking up.
GT #1: Told you we shouldn’t have walked over here.
Me: I seen from over there looking at veggies…you looked real confused.
Her: Yeah. Trying to decide if I should get broccoli or the mixed ones.
GT #1: This isn’t going too bad.
Me: Depends on what you like. Variety is the spice of life though…
GT #2: n****…are you serious right now?
GT #1: This was a bad idea…
Her: *laughs* So you’re suggesting I get the mixed veggies. You work here?
Me: *looks at her and looks at self* Hell nah!
GT #1: Too strong.
GT #2: n**** relax, you can’t talk to her like that yet!
Her: I’m saying you over here recommending vegetables and whatnot.
Me: Just trying to help YOU out.
GT #1: Aight…she seem pleasant.
GT #2: You wasting time. Ask her if she got a man.
Me: So…you here by yourself?
Her: Yeah.
GT #2: ASK. HER. IF. SHE. GOT. A. MAN.
Me: I’m saying, you got enough food to cook for a small village.
GT #2: This n**** hardheaded.
Her: Can a sister get her cook on?
Me: You can do what you like. I’m sure your man appreciates the food.
GT #2: Passive aggressive face a** n****.
Her: He would if I had one. Is that your way of asking me if I have a boyfriend?
Me: Only if the answer to the question is no. If it’s yes, let’s just finish the conversation and I’ll let you go on about your business.
GT #1: This n**** think he smooth.
GT #2: That was some pimp s*** though.
Her: *laughs* Oh. Ok. Well I don’t have one.
GT #1 and #2: YES! We winning!
Me: CHEA!…urr…
Her: What?
Me: Nothing…so…I’m not trying to keep you or anything but…
GT #1: He going for the…
GT #2: kill.
Me: I think you’re cute and if it’s cool with, I’d like to give you a call later. Just to ask you how my executive decision about your veggies came out.
GT #1: n**** tying back to earlier jokes and s***.
Her: *laughs*
GT #2: She laughing n****. You got her! *dougies*
Her: That’s cool. Here.
Me: Aight. Well, I’m usually in school most of the day, but I’ll give you a call either tom or the day after.
GT #2: That’s right my n****. Build her expectations.
Her: Look forward to hearing from you.
GT #1: Uh oh…
GT #2: She might wanna f*** something!
Me: Looking forward to calling. Peace.
Her: Later =)
GT #2: See n**** was it really that hard?
GT #1: You was doing all that goddamn fretting for nothing. Scary a** n****.
And that’s pretty much how this works out for the most part. I’m usually successful, but I’m always nervous. So ladies, the next time a dude tries to holla, if he deserves it, be nice to his effort. You never know what prep work that n**** had to do to gather the courage to talk to you.
Especially me. You see me coming, just start smiling, it’ll help ease my nerves. LOL
Peace.
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(Mobile Viewers Click Here)
Admin Notes:
You can also check out my second guest post for Lidia-Anain.com today, The Mind of a Man: The Princess and the Wh*re.
lol! I’m so glad I’m not a man and I don’t have to worry about approaching anybody.
This is one reason why I always try to be kind to men that approach me… even if I’m not interested. Sometimes that backfires… but oh well…lol.
Loved the post!
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Awww you took my advice :-)…
Ok enough of all that. When I read that post the other day I had no idea you guys think went through that. I don’t know about other women, but I go through something similar to that when I see a guy I’m attracted to. The only difference is I don’t go up to them ( I’m working on that) but I do give them eye contact and a smile. It’s pretty much an invitation.
I liked the video. It was pretty funny. Good job’
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Please excuse the typos and ish. Sneaking comments at work on my phone isn’t easy.
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WIM thanks for sharing. Your vlog had me giggling because I’m the chick to sees you looking and smiles to get you to come over. The out take was funny too.
I posted this same question and scenario on the Aye girl’ blog but I wanted to ask you also.
So knowing that it takes some men all that working up to get the courage to talk come over and talk to me; how as a man would you prefer I let you know I’m not interested?
I ask this question because Monday this guy I often run into on the metro finally asked me if I had a man, and can he take me out. I say finally because he often says, hi, asks how my day was, makes comments about the metro, you know commuter small talk, but he does it with that I’m really flirting with you grin. On Monday, being the nice person that I am I indulged him in conversation and took his number that he had already written on a folded piece of paper. During this conversation I learn that he is 47, divorced, with an 11 year old, and willing to be used and abused by a pretty face. I’m in my early 20’s, finishing a Master’s, while working a fulltime job, child free. I could use a sap but they take some work to maintain.
How should I have let him down in that moment without destroying his ego/ confidence?
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Ill try to keep this short but I think its already too late. He was obviously into you and now that he’s finally gotten the number he prob thinks the feeling is mutual. No easy way out now. It doesn’t help that it sounds like yall cross paths fairly often via your commute. At this point, honesty is your best policy but you’re going to hurt his feelings. It is what it is.
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For furure reference, I go with saying you have a man even if it’s not true. This scares about 50% of guys off or at least puts them in check. I usually off if a girl has a man, not cause I care, but because that’s your opportunity to turn me down nicely. Some people may disagree so they’re welcome to provide their input but that’s my two cents.
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Thanks for the advice.
Just for clarification I just took his number I did not give him mine nor did I tell him my name but true honesty is the only way to go with this one. As for the “I have a man” thing I’m trying to ease up on the lying tip because Karma moves kind quick in my world. Good base point for another tactic though.
Side note: Who did your pictures in the W.I.M photos section? They look really nice.
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Thanks. He doesn’t have a website but he’s on Twitter if you’re on there: @WMSPhotography. I believe he’s on Facebook too under the same name.
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This whole convo is effin hilarious!! I’m sorry, I’m not laughing at you but this gave me a good laugh. Who is the “we”? LOL I didn’t know men battled themselves like this. It’s very cute if anything. For me, I like a man with no game. If a man steps to me and I can tell he is running lines, I’m alittel turned off. It’s tricky. Women get hit on alot so you got to be quick and interesting. The guy that grabs my attention is one who can make me laugh or says something cute/random to let me know he’s interested. Okay, example…last week this guy hit on me and it was kind of cute. (I was shopping and in a bad mood btw) Two guys standing behind me and one says to the other loud enough for me to hear “I know the perfect woman for you…” Then he describes me in detail, even what I’m wearing. It was funny and really good game. Of course I laugh then the guy starts talking to me. I don’t know if this helps but try to make her smile in a subtle non-abnoxious kind of way. Sometimes just walking over and telling her you find her attractive is enough if you’re real about it. Be confident too, that’s s.exy.
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Usually by the time I finally walk over I’ve got it together. Above are the internal thoughts and this conversation is really anywhere between 5 – 35 seconds.
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Best pickup line ever…”Hi”.
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First time commenting and I will say your tech savvy editing skills are nice.
I never really thought about guys having trouble approaching a woman. I mean everyone is a little scared of rejection, but most guys do pretty good covering up the nerves. I’ll keep that in mind, sir.
Good Vid.
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I really enjoyed your video blog & the post that inspired it! Like everyone has been saying I never thought guys thought like that. You guys def enlightened me. What goes through your mind when you see the girl you’re checking out come and talks to you? Like that shows she’s not afraid to make the first move?
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Loved the guest post. Loved the video.
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I loved this!!
I was one of those people who really didn’t give a second thought when a guy was trying to holla, either blatantly or subtley. I figured men should be used to rejection. The majority of them try their luck anyway, so they’re most likely okay with being shot down because I’m sure they’ll be on to the next girl in about 5 minutes or so…. but then I learned. I still think those dudes on the corner that holla are of the above mind set though lol.
I actually witnessed a guy go through the prep stages before walking over to me one day. It was the SWEETEST thing I ever saw. In the end he didn’t get my number (I lied and said I had a man) but it was truly one of the few times I would’ve gave a random guy my number. I’m more of a “friends first” kinda gal…I gotta get to know you gradually. I hate being OVERTLY hollered at. I’m giving it a shot now though, depending on the guy.
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Loved the post & video. You’re a good actor.
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thank you for finding the author of the post!
i loved it the 1st time and look forward to checking the vlog when not pretending to work ;)
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soooooooo why is the same thing in a woman’s head. I mean, we go through the whole song and dance too. I mean, yes you are coming up and showing interest, but we have to make sure that we don’t crack corny jokes, or come off too rude if we are not interested. I mean, it’s hard having to tell someone, “hey, I am not interested” – then you can see if in their face. And if you say it with any type of attitude or even too quickly, then you are considered a B***h. If you don’t answer quick enough, then you leave the hope aspect. You can tell them you are taken or even not they feel like you are smiling because you are playing hard to get. Oh and don’t let a girl go to Stone Trail. Literally the women get “wrist raped” – we do not even get an opportunity to decide if we want to engage in conversation, they just lock and load. See your approach above, was pretty awesome. It had the corny jokes, the normal akward moments. I just ranted…not sure if it makes any sense..more of a streamline of thought. lol. *shrugs* ah well
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